I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize