Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
