just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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