I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
