I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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