Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
