I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
