The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
