considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
