Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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