We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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