Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
