my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
