Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
