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Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
