I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
