Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize