We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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