so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
