Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
