First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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