It's just like the Real World with babies
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
