Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
