I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it's great music for shaving your balls
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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