Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
