Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
