he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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