At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize