so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
