Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
