It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i drank out of a bidet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
