I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
