im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
