I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
