a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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