You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
