Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
vagina is talking i cant
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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