Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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