did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
