i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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