apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
