these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
