it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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