Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My pussy is not your playground.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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