The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
