the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize