I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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