then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
