Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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