my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
