I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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