bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
