I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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