Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
