So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
