I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
