The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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