your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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