I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sex in a hospital.. check
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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