AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
