Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
