She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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