That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
